Tag Archives: discernment

text | wondering, thoughts of the wise old woman

“coach” or *Coach*

“When you coach, you don’t need to be the expert. You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. And you don’t need to have all the solutions. But you do need to be able to connect with people, to inspire them to do their best, and to help them search inside and discover their own answers.” (Harvard Business Review)

One might have observed examples of a “coach” who claimed all of these attributes that one does not need. At times, with self-relflection and modesty, one can observe these unneeded items in oneself as well:

The “coach” did not ask; the “coach” claimed

the “coach” did not listen; the “coach” imposed

The  “coach” did not empathize; the “coach” aggrandized and agonized 

The “coach” did not purposefully wander into wonder; the “coach” stupefied and stifled 

The “coach” did not uplift; the “coach” made small 

The “coach” did not consider radiating options; the “coach” pinpointed that unquestionable 1 solution

At those moments, the coached might be coached to be the problem and of no use to the “coach”.

That “coach” will move on, obliviously, to the next target, who might satisfy the “coach” but not, to the fullest, the coached.

That “coach” will not *comprehensibly* read the coached. Such ”coach” shall remain convinced to have all the enlightened functional literacy which the “coach” needs, as a fixed singular solution to the problem; always outside of the “coach”.

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The “coach” shall remain stuck in a reductionist dualistic view of the other (excluding oneself) and merely “innovate” within that limitation. 

Such might be a “coach” whom one can observe, experience, and at times one might be oneself; again and again. 

What shall one call or do with such, at times seemingly inescapable, type of “coach”? 

One could move on away from such “coach” but that does not evaporate that “coach”’s mindset. Such “coach” might smell as sweet under any other name: “Teacher”, “Parent”, “CEO”, “Director”, “PhD”, “Priest”, “Guru”, “Professor”, “Judge”, “Consultant”, “Trainer”, “investor”, “Board Member”, “Counselor”, “Guardian”, “Self-made man/woman”, “Community Leader”, “God”, “Hero”, and so on.

That “coach” might take one to the highest of the high, technically; maybe, even seemingly performance-wise. Though that busy and (self-)important “coach”, lacking comprehension, reflection and discernment for life, might take one to one’s lows; humanly.

Any of these, as actual Coaches, need growth mindsets too. Coaches do not need to be experts, not the smartest, not the absolute solution, not the answer to your problem,.

I have met them, I meet them now and at times I see him in the mirror.

And yet, as actual * COACH * , many quietly embrace the other, daily and unwaveringly, in their degrees of modest, rational-altruistic enlightenment (which might be, in a non-dualist sense, a form of tempered-selfishness) and then move humanity; upliftingly, inclusively, contextually, ecologically, with continued reflection and with feed-forwardness. 

“No, I am not one of them, yet,” is what one had best think when one aspires to be an actual * Coach *: “I don’t have the ultimate perfectly measured solution. I am not an expert, I am not the smartest. I reside in your ‘room’ now and not mine. Please, tell me again to listen. Perhaps I can offer a question and one more, and I do thank you for your patience, in me trying to support you; within reason. And, that’s all good.” One can use this as a mantra in confident-modesty while moving forward.

Source:

guiding text here

Letters from Aliens to Aliens, text | wondering

I’m not A Virus; I can’t Breathe; I TOO am a Berliner; We come in peace, …and you?

Or, …do we really need an alien invasion to allow a halt to the mind-numbing cynical slapstick of horror and fear?

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Anecdotes, events or histories are important to humanize; …or the opposite. They are deeply touching so they mobilize in various ways; yet, at times, in opposing directions…

Anecdotes can offer seeming clarification (as if real-life metaphors or analogies, at times looping meaning into conscious stomach-turning absurdity). They could clarify or at least unveil a deeper-lying problem. Anecdotes can do this aided by various lights and focuses; …some persisted “clarifications” are not so conducive nor sustainable.

Anecdotes can pull and push; ease and slap; silence and amplify. Anecdotes are felt as mine not yours, unless you’re in and not out.

Anecdotes do seem to work in narrowly strengthening the cohesion, within one bubble, against the next or against the other.

It is seemingly so since an anecdote’s force is defined by the mechanisms of whether we want to (or can) find, or offer, meaning-giving ; for the good or the bad and anything in-between its polarizing power. Anecdotes are like potent meaning-giving positive feedback loops with no singularly positive outcomes.

Their effects echo, ever so distorted yet, lasting. However, do we want to see their depth and breadth? Many seem to want to refuse, stubbornly.

Yes, anecdotes are lasting whether or not we (wish to) see their more abstract systemic mechanisms at work, which are reoccurring in any of these same anecdotes, irrespective of the specifics of one or other confronting , kick-inducing or shocking event.

If, however we were not to see beyond 1 event or that 1 sour apple or the next 1 bad apple, how may examples would we need before the proverbial aha-erlebnis could be shared by enough leading (and less leading) voices?

When would the one breath-taking anecdote be transcended and aid our discernment and actions into a next level of human development?

If that moment were to come along… How about us developing into humans that are slightly more sharing, considerate, insightful, inclusive, empathetic, emotionally mature yet rich, patient and problem-solving rather than problem-recreating?

How about moving towards wanting to become wise? (psst, have a look at the meaning of ‘sapiens’ in our species’ taxonomy).

How many kills do we need? How many viruses do we need in other or your locations? How many teases, pokes, dismisses and growls do we need? How many “I’m with you’s” do we need? How many warnings or how much finger-pointing do we need? How many far-fetched yet unresolved conspiracies or bile-laden debasements do we need before we see there is no worse conspiracy but the ones we inflict upon ourselves?

Even if an alien spaceship were to hover over a metropolis, under our present-day mindsets, some human individual would seemingly be able to find a way to blame and use another human into some convoluted and perverted strategizing, catalyzed by a good doze of distrust and short-minded, linear, negative manipulations. When will it be enough? How about,… now.

[read with a tone of irony] We are a species that is very resilient and formulaic-creative. We loop the same thing over again into enforced and accepted meaning. We are a species that enjoys bumping over the same stone again and again and again. One might reluctantly want to shout: “show me that ‘new normal’, please! Where is it, beyond the veil of a mask or a missing hug?”

Do you easily want one or other excuse you can hide behind? You will find it. Do you want easy access to one or other fear-inducing tool which you can project outwardly? You will find it. Do you need a bed-time story to paint the other as negative, debased and too different from you? You will find it.

But, tell me dear fellow human, where then reaches your innovation? How far beyond the surface of your smooth digital touch screen? To the delegation of your smartness to a database? Perhaps all the way to the digital version of your eagerly mined bills and coins?

An anecdote in forms of story, event or technology needs a higher resolution; a finer and deeper nuance. It needs an added realization and willingness to identify complexity, inter-relations, associations, contexts and systems. We need to move onward and upward by innovating cognitively, around that 1 or other human output, that 1 utterance and the next 1 act and the next, and the next.

It is not because I am small that anything larger than my own experience or my own anecdote, does not exist. There is more. Yes, there is even more we don’t know that we don’t know; …know that. It might aid in making you a bit more humble.

We can move, perhaps with falling, into a systematic learning-process that could answer systemic, thus process-driven and larger issues, lying at the foundation of your or my anecdotes.

One can device or uncover the blueprints and pragmatics of a systematic learning-process to a sustainable co-existence, a co-creation and a shared consciousness (one away from a willing and blinding “ignorance” into a willing actionable awareness with shared directional sight). It is one that needs to be approached methodologically, systematically and pedagogically; with care and reflection.

It is one that can allow for the individual in considerate interaction with the collective human existence adapting, yet set in a far larger context of change. It’s ok, it’s daunting, it’s life, but then we might just perhaps be truly in it together (oh…, you thought we are now?).

This is not mitigated even while a noticeable-some aren’t thinking nor acting as such; which is contradictory and perhaps counterproductive .

It needs to be done by also going deeper than any symptoms of that deeper dynamic and systemic issue, associated with the human output (e.g. an anecdote in utterance, act or technology).

A reset or augmentation or a truly disruptive paradigm shift in humanity (which is not but the sum of the parts of its output alone) could and perhaps should also go beyond the initial labeling of “the other” (i.e. those not “in the know”) an act which otherwise, if not methodologically gone beyond, might stay at the level of “mud-throwing”, debasing or instigating of negative sentiment or much worse.

For instance, among many moreresources, Cognitive Biases need to be identified (this is being done) and addressed (could be done with more method). These are beyond one individual, one community. These are transnational and fundamental to communal, geopolitical or other strategizing or forecasting. These resources are being interconnected by some initiatives yet more implementation within online and offline learning services need to be undertaken.

The broadest sense of “Literacy”, e.g. in relation to applications and interactions of skilled-up emotional intelligence need to be implemented. For this, anecdotes, such as technological output, stand in function of humanity (not the other way around).

Media literacy needs to be built into this and growth-mindset or imaginative skill-sets, leading to increased ability to adapt in complexities and diversities need to be nudged forward. The scientific methodology can and should be intertwined.

Conversation skills and how to construct a narrative must be made aware. Active Listening skills are quintessential . The latter to me is about knowing how to process input: internal(ized) imagination, making, creativity and innovation (within oneself). This is as of use and as practical as “output skills”: externalized imagination, making, creativity and innovation (from oneself). (psst, no worries, neither I am good at these. We’ll learn together yet, at our own individual pace).

And these superficial items too, mentioned here previously, are but the surface as are the (important and at time shocking) anecdotes.

To enable such paradigm shift, as an in-depth humanity 2.0, investment is needed (monetary and also other). It is needed trans-nationally (or rather, “meta-“). I’m (still) ignorant and naive about these yet, intuitively, I do sense a need for this to be urgently considered. I do realize that, in our traditional thinking, what I wrote here is painful, irrational and to some laughable to state, especially now.

The answer and the manner of answer to the above attributes and the associated questions (which and how questions are asked) will be unveiling as to the insight, readiness and willingness of our species or at least of its front-stage voices (to think beyond the immediate or instant proverbial yet petty knee-jerk reactions).

There are actors already active in the world, aiming to offer uplifting method, process and solutions to the above lament.

Let us identify them better, mobilize them, give them an enabling platform rather than the continuous mind-numbing, impatient, cynical slapstick of horror, hate and fear.

header image:

“El Hombre” . photo-edited digital sketch . –animasuri’20 yes.

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text | wondering

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