I wake while sound sleeps the pumping of blood from an accelerating heart trying tinnitus, buzzing into the brain
as far as an eye can see no bathroom lights, kitchen lights no late night living room brawls nor a balcony staring back with a full glass
I wake while songs, sons ‘n’ Sun sleep a physiological soundtrack underscores singleness: gurgling interiors, rushing fluid snapping joints, groans the still could hear
the acidic burn of last night’s dinner reminds me in early hours: we carry histories in organs, consequences in flesh; or so I do. I do.
I wake while counting the rings and ribs of a slice of tree and a trunk of life it’s all there, drunken with memory
I cannot remember your name. I cannot remember your face. I cannot, I can not I can’t recall you. you are, not to compute
If I force to re-member lust fills ligaments and limbs if marking of fuzziness, blurriness, fogginess if ever a loose model dislocated in favor of an unpredictable determinant
will we appeal, absurdly: as bodies bouncing off what is, what could, a curvature into a minded murmur what was of anyone really
if I ever meet you, as by trigger, a none-memory, your story, a hint of voice, an off-the-shelf perfume your skin as soft as
I will recognize, with certainty loved or yearned:
Lover
—animasuri’24
—-• trigger
Sapolsky, R. M. (2023). Determined. A Science of Life without Free Will. NY, USA: Penguin Press. (opposing free will)
Sprevak, M., Colombo, M. (2018). The Routledge Handbook of the Computational Mind. Routledge.
Tallis, R. (2004). Why the Mind is Not a Computer: A Pocket Lexicon of Neuromythology. 2nd edition. Societas.
Tallis, R. (2021). Freedom. An Impossible Reality. Agenda Publishing (in support of free will)
My hand, are you an extractive institution, the palpitator of the prohibited without consent, the weeder of functionality for the belly and urge you serve, the flattener of crosstalk, pushback, checks and spars. Are you the tentacle testing dryness of fertile soils fiddling futility. My hand, are you the conductor of fingers at sleep, slight of hands and sneaky Freudian slips, do you slide under tables fondling brown paper envelopes or stockings alike, protruding the questionable ever unanswerable in the shades and twilight of movements in largesse distracting from the emptiness of words. My hand, do you carry callouses as cradles to civilization building of master’s bate when imagining lands of others to caress yet ever care for by exploitation, hand-eye coordination and umping silences of labor unspeakable outside the gloss of design and architectured relations in empires handled by history. My hand, do you slap, slither, slit and slide. Do you hide in the palm and knuckles of a fist do you frequent trebles or bass or frequencies of grace. Are you daily an absolute beginner and touch the nascency of companionship with tender tips?
When Kafka types, bureaucrats look up. For a hint in time landscapers of paper, form and institute no longer rattle chains and gears for gates of chops bathed in ink-shaped access.
Shaping reds and blacks coloring moves. Shaping steps of stairs. Shaping heights and polishing glass ceilings. Scraping pits for prescription gratings living lives here and here.
Just for a second a halt heralds a gaze. Readers could be more concerned with what the pencil pusher does, their acts are even less sexy than the words mythologized here.
Did Kafka push a pencil? Chopping heroes are distracting noises between worlds and words of whistling pedagogical battles. Literate noises as bureaucrats look up grooming worldly believes into submission: know this, not that.
Reiterative flows of taxes work sleepy workers waking work, work hard, make work, no love. The writer woks a meal for these meandering minds. Daily diversion from attention to connotations, to stipulations as punctuations.
depth and diverse conversations of listening companionships keeps the mind focused on escapisms to come. The stories that let us be sedated by mere lack of boredom are allowing grievances directed in a spittoon of a film.
criticism as a meme on a fleeing thread, is it. Threat. Excitement of reductions and slow simplicities, where you sit down with the other in silence and sense nerves flow outward in comfort: “It’s good sitting here with you ma’am, sir.” Waiting in line at the clerk’s.
It’s good not knowing you not having to catalogue as proud birds of paradise or roosters defending male hoods. Is it good sitting silently unbothered by the sectioned time lines guard-railed by raiders of open endings.
The ticket ticker tickles patience. When Kafka types on his pillow, accounting enumerates and bureaucrats take notice. “The numbers are mythic, sir. Just tell the next in line a good story,” directed the guidelines and standards.
It is in the abstraction I find liberation to be lost in the all-telling nothingness distancing love for turmoils of nuisances from the entangled companionship with the anecdotal other and their claws disintegrating form, function and frivolities
a bloody scratch as a midway house to molecular absorption elsewhere well’s where any elsewhere some fare some more or less will dare drip, drop stingy scratch some more nor some here there’s no more mass but masses of hair lost at sea of skin hairline fracture
fractured torn to wayward ways one once was a door, a carrot made of orange rope and a tuft ‘a’ green, dust, an explosion one once was a while back in a galaxy beyond, a thread of hemp skinned from the plants potted to smoke I pet Cat. One Once Was. That is, ‘r name.
One kettle, once clinging high pitched piercing was as vibration onto the tympani osmosing into the snail-like housed hairs triggering electro-chemicals at a fraction of not knowing yet changing: an ear, a brain a sound sounds of an uncritical pedagogue
I no longer pet Cat. that is, f’r now. abstraction morphs with awareness that there is love in a cup of tea as well as vulnerability to burn, lesions on the tongue palms overheating and glasses fogging up fingers slip and I am fulfilled with deep warmth
one that but temperature once was one intercoursed with memory and embellishments of who introduced Cat to me how fingertips touched when petting lips that one time a cup with a rim off hand-over-paw; sip: it’s blurry
little mouth drink cat tongue; finger tip. tip trip trickle I pet Cat, abstractly then flees from me, present under sofas, absurdly slurp absentee
I garden. A place plays with blooms and grafts. She flowers. As act defying pots to shards. We tender. As biddings without compete. It heeds. A time for decay’s decanting a lead.
As time’s bidding acts onto this place’s play. Garden flowers tender for heeds. Blooms defying without decay. Grafts shard to compete and lead.
For with’s defying without Decanting places blooming time Leading gardens grafting heeds Decay plays pots with tender
words ‘r’ weeds as a-pole-a-pad-a-leaf-as-paddle for where the imaginary butterfly perched evanescently phrasing a choreographed calligraphy for a hovering mind to flutter a stanza anew.